i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She bit a glass in half.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
