By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
