You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
