I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
