Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
