I wish my penis had an off switch
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
