The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
