I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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