I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
