He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
