she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
They have beer where we have blood.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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