dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
