Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
