How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
