Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
