He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
