Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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