No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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