omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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