yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
