I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
