it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
