Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
