Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
