i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
