OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
