Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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