she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
