Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
