it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
