yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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