I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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