why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
