Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
