Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
