The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
