I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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