so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my being single is dangerous.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The police scanner is talking about you again....
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
