he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
