What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
