my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
