Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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