I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
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