So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
did i just pee glitter
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
