But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
