Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
