im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
