Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
