Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
