sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I can't put those talents on a resume
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
