its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
