Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
