the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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