physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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