Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
