It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
