i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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